Beauty

(Beauty)

Beauty is only deep as skin.
So say those,
whose skin
is thin.

No Haste

Haste makes waste.

Waste not, want not.

So procrastinate,

and you’ll have a lot.

Pleading Pardon To The Patrolling Plagiarism Police

Recently (yesterday) I wrote about an experience I had in my life
that I thought readers would find amusing.
I took my time writing it, proofread it, found some nice photos to go with it, then posted it.
Saturday is usually a slow day for my posts so I didn’t expect to get many people
to view it.
But that’s alright. In fact perhaps it’s for the best.
You see today, when I had some time to read some posts by others that I follow,
I happened upon the page of a fellow I find amusing.
As I looked over his writings I noticed he had been featured on
Wordpress’ Freshly Pressed, several times.
I decided to look and see what the articles were about. I hadn’t read them before.
To my horror, the first article listed was on the very topic I had posted the day before.
It even discussed in a humourous way the very things I had mentioned in my own
attempt to be funny.

“Is it just me? Or do you smell plagiarism in the air too?”

Now before I attract attention of the consonant constabulary criminal complaint community,
I like to plead pardon to the patrolling plagiarism police.

“Watch out boys! He has a notebook!”

It’s inevitable that a writer will write about a topic that has been covered before.
It’s also likely that since certain topics have particular features about them,
that these would also be discussed in an article the any writer would write.
The fact the writer who also wrote about the same topic is also a humor writer,
is just a coincidence.

“Yeah sure. tell you malarkey to the judge!”

So I just want to go on record here.
I often spend my time thinking of things that happened in my life,
and how I can tell the story about them in a funny way.
I don’t read other writers so can expound on, or even copy,
what they are writing about.
My thoughts are my own.
Perhaps great minds think alike? Hee hee.
Well I feel better getting this off my chest.
I rest my case.

“What a crock!”

Saving Daylight In Your Pocket

It’s that time of year when the government, in an act of omnipotence,
declares that we the people, by decree of law, shall save daylight.
Where do you keep all of your yearly saved daylight?
Do you put it in a daylight savings bank?
Do you keep it under your mattress for a rainy day?
Personally I like to keep mine in my pocket,
in case I need it at night for an emergency.

Seriously, how the heck are we saving daylight?
By getting up earlier in the morning when it’s dark?
By making the hour later when the sun goes down?
Did you ever try to get at small child to go to bed in the summer
when the sun is still shining at 9pm.?

I know I’m beating a dead horse taking about the foolishness of Daylight Savings Time.
We all know how it’s hard for the human body to adjust to sudden shifts in the way we measure time, twice a year.
So I figure, if you can’t beat them, join them.
Why not make some savings times for other natural events that we really have no control over.
How about these time adjustments.

Birthday Savings Time
You can pick an age to spring forward to or fall back on.
Teeenagers can spring forward to vote, drive, drink.
Oldsters can fall back to less aches and pains, better looks, etc.,
and spring forward when it’s time to pick up the social security check.

Weight Savings Time
Falling back would be very popular.
Lose pounds before public appearances, doctors appointments, meeting old friends.
Spring forward would be welcome for the underweight (Are there any of them?)
Santa impersonators, competitive eaters, or for that matter anyone wanting to be in holiday eating shape.

Speed Limit Savings Time
Very useful to fall back when pulled over by the police.
Spring ahead when late for your destination.

Heat Savings Time
As long as we’re defying the forces of nature, why not save heat.
Fall back in the winter to nice warm days.
Spring forward in summer for relief from scorching heatwaves.

Common Sense Savings Time
Here’s one we could really enjoy.
Fall back for adventurous days, hang gliding, new roller coasters, being a politician.
Spring forward for exams, life decisions, let’s face it, everything.

Maybe if we collected all are unused common sense from Common Sense Time,
we could send it to Washington D.C.